


I'm lucky just to linger in your light

by Winthatcest



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ambiguous Season, Angst, Bittersweet, Drabble, M/M, Pining, Pining Sam, Possibly Unrequited Love, Song: Smile (Uncle Kracker), Songfic, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-09 21:49:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19484713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winthatcest/pseuds/Winthatcest
Summary: Sam secretly loved it when Dean would jokingly sing along to cheesy love songs while driving, but that was one of the many things he would never dare to admit.





	I'm lucky just to linger in your light

The silence was tearing Sam apart, nudging on the urge to should say something- anything, even if his words would have little to no meaning at all. As long as it could fill the deadness in the air.

Of course, there always was some outdated hard rock tune playing when Dean was driving, combined with the sound of the Impala racing over the unsteady road beneath them, and the rain pouring down on the car’s windshield, but it was the lack of communication between him and his brother that was bugging Sam.

The two hadn’t spoken to each other for hours. This wasn’t exactly out of the ordinary when they were heading somewhere.

They more often than not tended to bury any kind of emotion or difficult topic that wasn't related to whatever job they happened to be on at the time.

So, despite how much Sam ached to discuss the concerns he had- including how he truly felt about about Dean, it was something that would never see the light of day, for obvious reasons.

“Is something bothering you, or...?”

Startled, Sam turned his head away from his car window to catch a glimpse- barely a second, of Dean's sharp eyes before they quickly shifted to the road again.

“Uh no, no, I-" Sam pressed his lips together and adjusted his position to appear more receptive, preparing to shrug off his brother's worries and blame them on his wild imagination. I’m fine."

“I dunno, you just look…”

Sam raised one of his eyebrows, asking for the follow-up he was probably never going to get. As expected Dean closed his mouth not long after opening it and eventually settled on a classic "Nevermind" as he reached for the volume button of the cassette player.

_Even when you're gone, Somehow you come along, just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack and just like that, you steal away the rain and just like that,_

Sam was taken back by the light-heartedness of the melody. Anyone who even just had met his older brother would say he wasn't exactly the "lovey-dovey" song type.

_You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed, sing like a bird, dizzy in my head,_

Sam's lips parted, preparing himself to place a snarky comment, or just to tease him or simply ask him about it.

_Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night._

Honestly Sam wasn't entirely sure what he was going for at the time. Not that it mattered. Dean had mumbled "Shut up" before Sam had the chance to speak.

"I didn't even say anything yet." the younger Winchester protested. "but seriously? Uncle Kracker?"

_You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe._

Dean, obviously offended, leaned more into his seat and gave Sam a dirty look. "What's wrong with Uncle Kracker?"

"Nothing, it's just... you know, not your usual go-to tune. Never knew you were into lov _e_ songs."

_Shine like gold, buzz like a bee, just the thought of you can drive me wild._

"It's not a love song, Sam."

_Oh, you make me smile_

Sam grinned and shook his head. "Oh, it's _definitely_ a love-."

"Whatever. It's a good song, period. Am I not allowed to like music anymore?"

"Hey, I'm not judging you."

"Well, you better not be." Dean mumbled, but not long after he did, his face lightened up as if he remembered something of great importance and his mouth curled into a somewhat ominous smirk. "I mean, you listen to that Madonna chick."

Sam rolled his eyes. "I used to, when I was like fifteen? You never stopped making fun of me for that, jerk."

Dean simply laughed at him in response.

"I hate you." Sam declared like it was the very first time doing so.

_Don't know how I lived without you, Cause every time that I get around ya I see the best of me inside your eyes. You make me smile._

Dean tapped his finger on the car's steering wheel, along to the rhythm of the tune.

“Come on, you adore me.”

"Do I?"

_You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe,_

"Oh, quit being a bitch, Sam. It's obvious. You're always such a girl about it."

"M'not." Sam mumbled back. 

_Shine like gold, buzz like a bee, j_ u _st the thought of you can drive me wild._

Much to Sam's annoyance, Dean started to loudly sing along to it. _Very_ loudly. There wasn't even an attempt to hide the fact that he was only doing this to tease Sam, with the single soul purpose of getting on his nerves. 

Sam scoffed and shook his head as an attempt to hide the smile he felt growing on his lips.

He really couldn't help it, watching how his idiot of a brother managed to make a whole show out of it, complete with overly high-pitched vocals and exaggerated facial expressions that a human face really shouldn't be able to have access to.

Dean was right, Sam did adore him. If only he knew how much. If that was the case, Sam wouldn’t have the chance to experience a moment like this ever again. It would be stripped away from him, along with every single little thing he treasured, because whatever ended up happening, Dean was all Sam needed and all that he could ever need.

The truth could ruin things beyond imagination, and Sam tried to list the thousands of things he could lose. His brother wouldn't be right here next to him, singing along to his guilty pleasure songs, or dare to look at Sam.

There wouldn't be a shelter from the rain to keep Sam from falling along with it and sink through the earth, never to be seen again.

_Oh, you make me smile_


End file.
